Today’s news headlines if we lived in an alternate universe

Imagine, just for a minute, how different things could be if our media actually reported what was going on in the world. Sadly this is a utopian fantasy. Today is another day when I wished I could read the headlines that weren’t written. 

Let’s talk about cats! I’m an animal lover and usually all too happy to make a fuss over our furry companions. Not so much so when they are dead though. You might not have heard the term dead cats. It is a method used by people in power to distract others from what’s really going on. When something is happening and they want to stop people from paying attention, because it really doesn’t fit their own agenda, they start throwing a dead cat or three on the table. 

Now all talk is about the cats! Oh look, it’s a dead cat! What happened? How did the cats get here? What shall we do with them now? Whatever you were thinking about beforehand starts to fade. And if you happen to try and remember, there’s always more cats that can be killed and thrown around conveniently. 

Sounds brutal, I know. Not only do I prefer my cats alive and well, but seeing dead ones lead the headlines makes me highly suspicious. What actually happened yesterday, that didn’t make it on the front pages?

I guarantee you, whenever all you are being fed is dead cat, there’s more to see than you think. Look beyond the headlines. What bad news was buried, what were you not supposed to talk about? And this is, where the alternate headlines begin. 

“People are being murdered by cuts to the welfare system”. Now this is an especially popular one attracting lots of cats repeatedly. Why talk about dead poor people if we can have some light fun entertainment of the 1% instead?

“Right now, people die because PM pays racists with money she pretends doesn’t exist”. Remember that magic money tree, that simultaneously exists and doesn’t exist, all depending on who is supposed to benefit from it?

“Pay cuts for the poorest, pay rise for the richest!” Why should people out of work and disabled people get at least a rise in line with inflation? They are being paid for doing nothing already. They should be grateful. It’s their choice to be ill, to be poor. They don’t need money to buy food, to keep a roof over their head or heating to keep warm. 

“Brexit …”. Ha, now that is a headline we wouldn’t see in our alternate universe. For if it wasn’t for all the lies, it wouldn’t even be on the agenda right now.

Royal baby, royal wedding! Don’t be a spoil sport, we all need some happy news during these tough times! Don’t you see it’s all about love! Let’s wave some flags and feel British because her ring has three – I tell you THREE – sparkly stones! Ohhhh! Awwwww! 

Nothing else is more important right now. Nothing is happening that we should talk about. Unless we want that alternate universe, with the headlines we don’t get to read, the news we don’t hear about, to be ours. 

Now, what will it be? One dead cat or three?

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